Iceland Roses - The Story Chapter 2

 

Preamble

Read chapters in numerical order. The story is fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this blog are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Had Nathan known anger would be the standard for how she handled differences and that he would be compelled to retreat each time he may have reconsidered how to handle the next steps in his journey with Kayla. Had he known Kayla's win-lose style, my-way-or-I'm-gone, her incapacity to compromise, he may have chosen differently. However, chances were he may still have chosen to let the attraction he felt for her overrule pragmatism. 

Chapter 2

Later, when relatively calm Nathan tried to reason with himself. He'd already decided he'd call Kayla. He had no idea what he would say to her. He would not say sorry for something that was not his fault? In fact it would be more appropriate for Kayla to apologize for her anger and  storming out. He wanted the the tension between them resolved. At the same time he felt coerced. He knew her well enough already to realize she would not say, sorry, I don't know what came over me. Or, sorry, can we start over? She had put herself in a position from which she could not pivot. If there was going to be making up, he would have to initiate it. 

Had she done it on purpose? Done it to coerce him into being submissive?

There was an inconvenient clash of events. It happens. He could not change either of the two dates! It's simple ... find the best compromise. Any rational person can see that and realize the best way out is to make some concessions. Getting angry and storming out was irrational and compounded the problem.

Instead, if he wanted the relationship, he would have to suck up to her. He loathed it. It would be like self betrayal, took him back to when he was four years old. At that age one has nothing. You can't leave. You had to pretend all's well, suck it up while seething inside.   

"You wanna get married to someone who behaves like this? And early in the relationship on top of it?" he asked himself. 

It was hard to not see the red flag, but he was reluctant to acknowledge it. He understood the possible implications, but despite that persisted with wanting to repair the damage and continue. In his job he was known for finding middle ground when there were disagreements; he could be counted on to restore composure and lead adversaries to calm waters ... yes lead even when he was not the project leader or boss. He was good at it, but then he needed participation. When someone stomps off the scene there's not much that can be done.

He was also known for his dogged persistence. Often bordering on plain  stubbornness. He actually took pride in his tendency to be mulish; it had served him well most times. A friend once described him as the kind of guy who, when the plank for a shelf is too short, Nathan will flip it round the other way to make absolutely sure it didn't fit. 

So, the first thing to do is re-engage, get back to at least talking. He could repair the damage once communication was reestablished ... it's his comfort zone, the process of creating reconciliation, accommodating and adapting. Perhaps not comfort zone; perhaps more a knee-jerk reaction, choosing uncomfortable but familiar over pragmatic.

He could not just give up his dream of golden years with Kayla. Letting the dream go was against his will; it felt like a loss. The fact is he wanted her to love him. He was forced to acknowledge he was already in love with Kayla, wanted to care for her and be protective. He was more than ready to forgive her rash and explosive action ... it would be like one  overlooks the impulsive outburst of a child and it made him feel good to see himself in that role, strong, caring and unselfish.  

The call went much better than he expected. Her tone was frosty but she did not hang up. A good start. 

He repeated what he had told her in the coffee shop, "It's two important events. There's a clash. It's not something we can't work through. Let's you and I take hands, face the difficulty together and together figure out what we will do."

Silence.

He tried again, "I know how important family is to you and family events. I have to be at Rosalind's 21st. Even if it's only for a short while. We can work out something that fits the situation."

More silence. He could sense her simmering resentment. And then, "I wanted you taken up into my family, be a part of it ... to show and have them recognize that you are an integral part of my family. You putting me last in line is not what I signed up for."

This time he kept quiet. It's a practical problem ... nobody is to blame for anything. Why is she making out like she's a victim? And that he had caused it! 

She went on for what seemed a long time, keeping her victim stance and accusing him of being inconsiderate and autocratic. He let her carry on. Eventually she ran out of accusations. They did not agree on a compromise. They never spoke about it again.

Friday came and he went to Rosalind's 21st, left reasonably early and then joined Kayla at her sister's farewell event.

In the days following the incident he kept rehashing in his mind what had transpired. He still saw it as merely a clash of dates, a simple, unfortunate twist of fate. He still felt it should have been an easily resolvable problem. It need not have caused the tension in their relationship that it had. 

He was able to also appreciate Kayla's position, disappointed and that the situation had made her feel like she was the victim. He rejected that it was his fault and would not accept blame for it. Perhaps he could have handled it differently. He still did not see her as being a victim. Not even a victim of circumstances.

Did she really believe she is the victim here or is she deliberately manipulating him? No, he ruled out manipulation. She genuinely felt that she was being disadvantaged. She was so convincing about how she saw the situation that she had Nathan questioning his own judgement. Whatever the reality, he did not see himself as a candidate for being manipulated. Not blatant manipulation anyway. Could it possibly be his blind spot?  No, he ruled out manipulation.

Perhaps he was too used to making decisions on his own. He'd been single for a long time and was not accustomed to consulting with a partner. In all probability the habit of deciding for himself caused him to feel she was trying to take away his independence. Could it be that he had overreacted?

There were a lot of unanswered questions.

In the end he settled for somewhere between the two extremes, his view, an unfortunate clash of dates, easily resolved. On the other extreme, Kayla's take, unreasonable demands, an infringement on her rights. He concluded that he probably could have handled it differently, blamed himself for being somewhat insensitive and undertook to tread  carefully in future. It was all part of getting to know one another.